So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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