please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Too much gin, very little bucket
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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