Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
