His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
