I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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