i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
