i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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