U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
