Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
