You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
