Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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