Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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