I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
