Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Oh god it's open bar.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
