i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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