Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
