Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
