whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
