great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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