I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
