This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize