i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
