so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
