This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Drunk is a universal language darling
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
