I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
