btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
