Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
