I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
