every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
