is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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