just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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