New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
