i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
