it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
