Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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