currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
