Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
