I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
