Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
