my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
