I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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