you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
They have beer where we have blood.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
