watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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