No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
