please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
