so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
