i just google imaged poop.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
