We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
