The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
