Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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