dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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