I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
