Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
