A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
