I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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